Elizabeth's Acrostic

When I  retired from the Social Security Administration a few years ago, my daughter, Elizabeth participated in my "roast."  Knowing my interest in puzzling, she worked my name into an acrostic.  I came across her notes yesterday and want to share this treasured document with family and friends.

Junk that my father has accumulated over the years.. such as 230 fuzzy bunny banks with mange.

Opera.  While most fathers punished their children with spanking or time outs, my father believed all we needed was a little culture.  The greater the offense, the longer the opera.

Embarrassment.  Not his, but rather mine.. like the time my father painted the old Ford Fairlane with black all-purpose paint, using a paint brush. (The strokes didn't even go the same way.)

Voracious (appetite).. otherwise known as the "bottomless pit."

Artistic.  He hung artwork on the basement ceiling, in his own recreation of the Sistine Chapel.  The problem was, he didn't have any cute little nude cherubs but rather my nude portraits of models from Drawing and Painting 101.

Ubiquitous.  My father had a habit of showing up at the worse times.  We called him "old six eyes" (four in front and two in back.)

Gullible.  He believed the piece of driftwood that washed up on the Ocean Ciity shoreline was the only remains of Captain Ahab's ship after his fateful meeting with Moby Dick.

Hypochondria.. He's had measles twice, chicken pox three times, and had his appendix taken out twice.

Allen wrench.  The only tool besides a computer that he has fully learned to master.

Nothing else to add.. except he's the greatest Dad, and I get to enjoy even more of him now that he's retired.

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